“When written in Chinese, the word ‘crisis’ is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.” –John F. Kennedy Over 24% of the population of the planet Earth speaks Chinese, and although there are over 200 distinct local dialects, innumerable sub dialects and regional idiomatic expressions, thus far, mercifully, there is as of yet no Gangsta, Corporate Management McSpeak, nor New Jersey Snooky Guido-ese, although lately Gangnam Style is most definitely threatening. Even though it spans five time zones, officially China has only one time zone, referred to as ‘China Standard Time.’ Predating observer balloons, Chinese alchemists successfully used tethered man-carrying kites as early as the 4th century, although there is no record as to how many lives were lost during the experimental phase of this practice. The Mandarin word for China is Zhongguo, which means middle country, which morphed into ‘Middle Kingdom.’ Originally, it was meant to convey that China was the heart or center of the world. Even though ice cream was originally invented in China in 2000 BC, it had to wait until the hippie movement in the U.S. to spawn Ben and Jerry’s Karamel Sutra®. Chinese toddlers are frequently seen on the street wearing ‘kaidangku’--open-crotch shorts or pants, allowing them to take care of their business anywhere, which mostly includes curbstones and sidewalks. Paper was invented by a Chinese eunuch named Ts'ai Lun in the third century—according to the official history of the Han Dynasty, but ultimately the papermaking process was stolen by Silk Road bandits and carried east, to eventually become the printed bible, classic novels, declarations of war/independence, newspapers, broken treaties, wanted posters and finally junk mail, necessitating the invention of the Post Office which led to canine distrust of mailmen, the term ‘Going Postal’, workplace shootings, Ed McMahon’s Publisher’s Clearance Sweepstakes, property assessments, jury duty summons’, Dear John letters, magazine subscription harassment, Hair Club for Men newsletters, and at this point in time, probable bankruptcy. Over 74% of people in China believe in evolution whereas a recent Gallup poll claimed 46% of Americans believe in Creationism. Western China is mostly plateaus and mountains that gradually descend into lowlands in the east. Borax was first found by foragers of dry lakebeds in Tibet and exported to Arabia via The Silk Road. China has two of the top ten longest rivers on Earth. The Yangtze River is the third longest, the Yellow River is the sixth, and along its northeastern border with Russia flows the Amur River, which is the ninth longest river on the planet. The ‘Chaos Theory’ aptly describes driving in China, and even though most drivers obey traffic signals, motorcycles, scooters and bicycles largely do not, and once everyone is flowing down a street or avenue, all bets are off. Yet, I have seen very few accidents here. A few cultural collisions, yes, but very few crumpled fenders. There is a definite order here, though it may not be apparent to the outside or casual observer. Few people will bump into you on the street, though the multitudes flow freely. You will hear very few angry words in public, and they are usually the result of haggling. I’ve witnessed only two fights, and they both involved women, with males holding them back, and they dissolved quickly. Of course, this is only what I have personally seen; yet I am an unpredictable wanderer, always moving. I have seen a lot, and have outlasted platoons of Lonely Planet apostles, Internet plagiarists, and Samsonite tourists. Ooh wow, that sounds catty. All I am saying is I wander freely, observe constantly, report honestly. I am a free man in China, I feel unfettered and alive—all due apologies to the prairie goddess, Joni Mitchell. Lately I’ve met a dog named Holiday, eaten at a restaurant named Golden Hans, seen a sign announcing Love is a Beautiful Colour, eaten Frenchy Fries, spun in neon-dazed circles, been introduced to the Chinese equivalent of ‘Dairy Queen’, figured out what lotus root was, learned the Chinese word for crazy (Fēngkuáng de), wrote spontaneous lyrics to Miles Davis’ compositions, jumped on the moon and rode above the mountains in Tibet, dropped wishes and prayers all along the way, overcame my dizzying fear of heights and my Benign paroxysmal cultural vertigo. Years ago I saw the novelist and poet Richard Brautigan as I was wandering the concrete ramparts of San Francisco. He was standing on the street so completely focused on something inside him, so unnaturally still, as if he had summoned Einstein and was listening to a new theory of everything. Of course I wanted to talk to him, to ask him so many things, but respected that deep aura of stillness. Now, many moons later, I know that stillness well. China is a great teacher. I am hard inside my own song. I will play it for you now on my $23.00 guitar. It goes like this . . .
2 Comments
Brujita
10/31/2012 08:10:52 am
Mystique China... when I thought about this culture...Temples in the clouds, Insence aroma and devotion come to my mind.
Reply
jude lyon
11/5/2012 05:32:18 am
Ooo I like this style change, too. The listing of facts shakes my mind into contemplation... Ancient society, ancient place, ancient mind. Thanks for that! Smile....
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
|